The very word persuasion evokes different feeling in different people.  Sometimes those feelings are very negative because you think persuasion is manipulation.  Manipulation and persuasion are polar opposites like black and white.

Manipulation and coercion have no place in persuasion.

Persuasion is Not a Technique

Persuasion is not a technique rather it’s a way of thinking… an approach.  Persuasion creates an opportunity for two people to come to an agreement of thought in a mutually beneficial way.  That means before persuasion can exist there are certain underlying circumstances that must already exist.

The first condition that must exist is a search for a solution to an unmet need.  In other words, what you have to offer must be relevant for your prospect.  Your prospect must perceive you have something they don’t, plus they must be open to exploring how you might help them get that because it’s something they are already looking for.  Just like you can’t hypnotize someone and make them act like a chicken against their free will, you can’t persuade someone do to something they don’t want to do.  Thank goodness.

One of the biggest challenges you have when talking with prospects is lowering their defenses so they are willing to share ideas with you.  One of the easiest and most powerful ways to make it possible for your prospects to openly share ideas with you is to simply ask questions.  Whether you ask open or closed ended questions is less important than asking questions with the intent of learning more about the prospect and their needs.

When you try to ask questions that lead a prospect to your way of thinking that’s manipulation.  Those types of leading questions immediately trigger a prospects defenses.  Those types of questions are dangerous and should be proactively avoided.  The questions you ask should be more like the questions you’d ask someone you care about to determine what they think about something.

For example, asking “What do you see as the greatest challenge in commercial real estate today?”  Is a safe question because it allows the prospect to share their thoughts and concerns.   This is a good question because the intent is learning about the prospect.

In contrast, asking “How much more valuable do you see sales coaching than sales training?”  Is a dangerous question because you are trying to lead a prospect to an answer YOU want them to give.  A question like that doesn’t help you better understand the prospect and their needs.  It’s a leading manipulative question.

The questions you ask are critical because the only way you can truly understand the needs and desires of your prospect is through the answers they give to the questions you ask.  Therefore, you need to develop some really good questions.  When you are thinking about the questions you need to ask to really understand your prospect be sure to phrase those questions carefully so they are considerate and understanding.  The prospect shouldn’t feel like they are sitting across from an interrogator.  They should feel like they are having a great conversation with the best listener they’ve ever met.

This give and take conversation will help you come to an understanding of thought.

There are a lot of things you know you should do.  There are a lot of things you know you could do.  However, there are only a finite amount of things you know you will do because you are motivated to do them.  That motivation comes from an internal trigger that forces you to take an action.

You have to know what would trigger your prospect to take action.  The only way to find that out is to ask.  You might simply ask, “How would you decide to do something like this?”  Notice you aren’t specifically asking how they would decide to buy from you, rather you are just asking in general how they make the decision to act.  Their criteria for action is another condition that must exist.

You might quickly discover they are just thinking about this, and don’t have any intention of acting now.  Does that mean you’re out of luck?  Not necessarily.

Again you can’t come to an agreement of thought until you fully understand the prospect’s needs and desires.  That means you need to know, “What happens if nothing changes?”  As you explore that possibility with your prospect all of a sudden something they were “just thinking about” can immediately transform into “something I need to take care of now”.

Once you have full understanding then the last condition required for persuasion exists.  Human nature dictates that we will not disagree with ourselves even when we are wrong.  So one of the most persuasive ways to reach a mutually beneficial conclusion and commitment is to simply present your solution to the prospect based on their own words.  Including their words, their reasoning, their logic, and their criteria for acting.

Coach Cheryl

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